Tuesday, March 23, 2010
GOOD SIGN, BAD SIGN?????
Not really sure if this is the type of sign you want to see in a restaurant you're going to eat in? But there it was on the wall as we sat down at a very nice Italian-style restaurant. After an excellent meal, we needed to use the umm...facilities. Robin, Nancy and I looked around for any signs that might point us in the right direction. There it was, on the wall by some stairs going down. Now look closely, that is fire coming out of his butt! Yes, fire! Are you kidding me? Is this what I have to look forward to from the food, or is that stuff exiting him just some image that is recognized by the locals as...umm bodily excretions? I know I live a sheltered life in my little American town, but never in my wildest dreams would I equate fire with using the toilet! (Maybe in some greasy, fast food taco place, but not as nice a place as this)
Well, it's the only sign we see and since no english is being spoken, down the stairs we go. And yes it is the directions to the bathroom, or water closet as they say. The hits just keep on coming with this trip. Now, if you've read the earlier posts you'll know that their bathrooms are unisex (for both men and women) and some are regular toilets and some are "squatty pottys". Ok, I've come to accept that. HUGE difference here is that up until now, all of the bathrooms I've encountered have been singles-one person in at a time. But oh no, not this one. We're talking a 3-stall, 2-urinal bathroom open for everyone. And wouldn't you know it, there's a young lady who goes in right before Logan and I. Fine, I'll just wait until she comes out. Good in theory, but when you have a 6 year old dancing around because he has to go, plans change in a hurry. And since girls just take longer than boys to umm...go potty, she ain't coming out anytime soon. In we go. This event just keeps getting better and better. There are 3 stalls and 2 urinals, but 2 out of the 3 stalls are in use and the urinals are too high for Logan to use. So, he has to use the stall, and now I really have to go too. (and no, I couldn't even squeeze in the stall with him because they're so stinking narrow I'm surprised one person fits) Hm, hm, hm (me humming waiting for anyone to finish). Of course not. Ok, I can't wait any longer, I have to use the urinal. And right on cue, just as the ummm...process begins who comes out of the stall? Yeah, you guessed it, the young lady. Perfect! Despite what you all may think, I'm a pretty conservative guy and there are certain places that are just sacred. This is one of them. Can anyone say stagefright! She leaves, thankfully and my umm...business is completed. But now I feel violated in some strange way. It feels like I have left reality and now am in some crazy Twilight Zone world. Men and women in a public bathroom together, mass hysteria. Help me.